Writing 101 – Assignment.
The neighborhood has seen better days, but Mrs. Pauley has lived there since before anyone can remember. She raised a family of six boys, who’ve all grown up and moved away. Since Mr. Pauley died three months ago, she’d had no income. She’s fallen behind in the rent. The landlord, accompanied by the police, have come to evict Mrs. Pauley from the house she’s lived in for forty years.
Write this story in the first person, told by the twelve-year-old sitting on the stoop across the street.
It was a couple a weeks ago – bout supper time. I was out on the porch here. The sweat kept runnin in my eyes, and I had ‘ta use the bottom of my shirt ‘ta mop it up. I was practicin my Trucker’s Knot with a piece of rope Gramps give me last time we was visitin him at the old folks home. Gramps always has a present for ya but not many words. I already have my merit badge for tyin knots but I want to get good at the Trucker’s Knot cause my daddy’s a trucker and next time he’s home I’m gonna supprise him!
After about the millionth time tryin the Trucker’s Knot is when the cop car showed up. Usually when one a them comes ‘round, the lights are flashin and the sirens are a wailin, but not this time. It pulled up nice and quiet and didn’t make no ruckus.
Two men got out and knocked on Mrs. Pauley’s door. While they waited for her to answer, they turned an saw me on my porch. We’ve lived across the street from the Pauley’s since before I was borned. The Deputy waved but Mr. Grimley didn’t. Mama calls Mr. Grimley a slumlord – whatever that is. All I know is nobody likes him and when things get broke he takes his sweet time a fixin ‘em.
I ‘member when James and John, the Pauley twins was still at home, they’d bring me candy and John even let me ride his bicycle until it went flat. Them was some fine boys accordin to Mama. They had four older brothers who got kilt in the war. All the Pauleys was good people. Mr. Pauley, God rest his soul, brung us okra and tomatoes from his garden right up to the day he died. Mama doesn’t know it but Bobby Joe and me snuck and saw Mr. Pauley in the casket at the funeral home. Mama thinks I’m too young to see a dead body, but I’m not. I done seen one an nothing bad happened. He just looked like he was a sleepin. I hope he’s not afraid of the dark like Jim Bob is.
They musta waited on Mrs. Pauley’s front porch for five minutes but she never opened the door. Mama called me in for supper but I didn’t go. I wanted to see what was happenin across the street. After a while Mr. Grimley got mad an pounded on the door, “Mrs. Pauley, come on out now, ya hear? We talked about this, you have ta leave now. You ain’t paid a penny in rent since Byron died. Me and the Deputy here have come to take you to Garden Acres. Mrs. Pauley?”
“Hang on now, Willard. Give the poor old lady a minute to collect herself. We’re forcing her to leave the only home she’s had for forty years, the least we can do is give her some time.” Deputy Monroe said.
About that time Mama come out lookin for me an I told her what was happenin. “Them men oughta leave poor Mrs. Pauley alone.” Mama said as she walked down the steps into the street, wiping her hands on the apron at her waist.
“Mrs. Sanger, this ain’t none a your business.” Mr. Grimley said to Mama when she got across the street. “Go on home now, leave this to the men folk.”
Deputy Monroe knocked again but there was still no answer. “Ok Willard, use your key. Let’s go in. Somethin don’t seem right.”
Before long, an amblance came screamin down the street and squealed to a stop in front of Mrs. Pauley’s house. It made plenty a ruckus. Mama was cryin when they brung out Mrs. Pauley on a bed on wheels. “She’s been dead a couple a days, looks like.” I heard the Deputy talkin into his radio. “She left a note. Said she wasn’t gonna be moved to no old folks home and that she was ready to join Byron in heaven.”
Mama come back across the street and give me a hug. We watched everyone drive off then went in for supper. Now you and your Mama live across the street. I hope we get the same teacher in school this fall.
More Than Everything 
Love it! Style, voice all match what I would expect a 12 yr old to sound like.
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Thank you very much! Glad you liked it.
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So sad…… and at the same time……..real………
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Thank you for reading!
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This is the first time I read something you wrote and I must say it was awesome. I liked that the old woman was going to be taken care of, regardless, and the idea that she never really had to leave her home alive was a good one.
I enjoyed this post. I like the idea that when an author writes well he/she can use characters that in no way allude to their narrator. As mentioned above, great job with the dialogue of a twelve-year-old in this setting.
You also impressed me for staying with the topic strictly. In example, you used the name “Mrs. Pauly.” I did not, however I did find your post to be very impressive. Nice work – jcm3blog 🙂
p. s. – http://www.writersdiegest.com has prompts, too; your writing reminds me of the specifics used in writing well that I have read of their. One could spend a lifetime reading about how to write there; I will stick with the blogging, for now; time is always of the essence. 🙂
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Thank you very much for your nice comments and words of encouragement! I really appreciate you taking the time.
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Please, pardon my inaccurate use of “their;” I meant to say “there.” 🙂
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🙂
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Hi. Your piece reads very well. I’m not American, but the voice of the child sounded realistic to me. If I may say, the only thing that jarred was “leave it to the man folk”. I would have said “men folk” but perhaps that’s just me. Great job. I’m still working on mine.
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Thanks Margie! I’m glad you liked it. I actually meant to say ‘men folk’ – it’s been edited. Good luck with your post. Where do you live?
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I’m in Italy, but I’m a South African by birth. Makes for an interesting life. ; – )
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I would love to visit both of those places some day! I bet you do have some stories to tell 😉
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The accent worked well! Great writing!
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Thank you!
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In spite of the accent it was not difficult to read at all, and I’m not even a native speaker. Good job!
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Thank you very much! I really appreciate it.
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Great write~ You have a new follower, vgfoster
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Thank you John! And thanks for following. I look forward to seeing you around!
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I enjoyed this post. Your writing really enabled me to capture the story from the 12 year old’s point of view.
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Thank you Chelle! We all were 12 once! I appreciate your comments very much.
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Great, vibrant language here!
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Thank you very much!
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What can I say–another imaginative, well written tale. I am so happy you are regularly writing again, or at least, regularly writing in a venue I get to see!
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Thank you so much Jill! I’m choosing writing over watching TV in the evenings – after working all day! I write on my book every weekend. I can’t get my head into it for less than a four hour stint, so you can usually find me on Saturdays and Sundays spread out at the kitchen table reliving my childhood 😉 I’m hoping to have my first draft done by the end of this year. A much shorter writing timeline than my first book!
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You are very disciplined. My job search is proving more draining than actually working once I have a job, but hopefully I’m getting closer to finding the right thing and then I can get back into a more structured routine. So your second book is also a memoir? I can’t wait to read it–but hope there’s a novel in your future too?
Good for you for working on another book-I get exhausted just thinking about it. This writing stuff is not easy!
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My discipline ebbs and flows… I hope you find a job soon. It’s been 13 years since I’ve done the looking, and I know things are very different now. You’ll find the perfect thing soon. Yes, my first book covered age 18-28. This second one is age 0-18. It might not ever see the light of day, but I’ve got to write it all down before I can move on. There’s definitely a novel in my future though 🙂
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Written like a pro. You make it seem so easy! Within a few paragraphs you were able to display a rich scene with a history using a dialect as a 12 year old boy. Amazing!
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Thank you Barbie! I really appreciate your kind words.
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